In a prior post, I spoke about how I would report to Prison in one month and was busy preparing my house and enjoying the remaining time I had with my freedom. While those two activities have kept me occupied, my attention has also focused on two other topics – what will Yankton Prison Camp be like (yet to be fully known), and what am I doing today to prepare for a successful future upon my release.
While the journey up to this point has been emotionally draining I am keenly (albeit at times reluctantly) aware that there is a very long road ahead of me. Sometimes I feel almost overly optimistic about it while other times, I feel defeated. Good advice I have received tells me to take things day by day. Which has been helpful but hard to do for someone who is such a planner…I always look towards the future. If that’s the case, then logic would dictate I make positive strides every day. If I can do 2-3 things every day that set me up for success in the future, then I should be able to get the absolute most out of this journey that I can.
On that note, I am losing my ability (yet not wholly) to feel distressed over what I have lost and what I thought life was supposed to hold for me. I used to go down the rabbit hole on that topic, mourning what should have been. However, it’s refreshing that I’m losing the capability to do so and am spending more of my mental energy on planning for the future and crafting the type of life I want to experience and live. We cannot choose when we get knocked off the road that is our life’s journey, but we can take the appropriate actions to get back on track and up to speed.
Something to ponder: What is the totality of our life, and how do we build a record that shows how we responded to a difficult situation? Thinking in those terms is how I feel I can begin building my future.
One could argue that no one should be excited to report to Prison, but I am enthused to build my future. Which, in essence, means I may be at least emotionally more ready to go than I once was. How am I going to be remembered for how I responded to the challenges I faced? I have to build a track record that shows that, and doing so means starting my sentence.
So with 19 days until I report to prison, there is a lot to do – get my affairs in order and enjoy Idaho and the people (plus animals – see below!) here that I care about so much. However, I am also spending my time working on acceptance and preparation to recalibrate and move forward. This experience is going to be the hardest I’ve ever worked, and I’m not shying away from hard work because the alternative, doing nothing, isn’t going to work for me.