You are a badass by Jen Sincero
I don’t think I would have grabbed this book off the shelf under my own volition. I was in the law library one day and a friend of mine was in there looking for a new book to read. He pulled this off the shelf and handed it to me, saying that he enjoyed it more than he thought he would have, and thought I might like it as well.
So I figured why not. It was a nice break from some of the heavier philosophy and spirituality books. In a way, it’s refreshing to have an inspiring, witty, self-help book that makes you laugh while also making some really good, applicable points. Like my theory has been, if the book puts me in a good mood while I am reading it, inspires me, and I take a way a couple things I can practice daily I’m more than content. There was plenty of that in here.
The author focuses on the idea of not merely wanting change in your life, but deciding to create that change. So what tangible steps do we take to create change? I have written in the past about “moving the needle” and think it is similar here. Any meaningful change we aspire for cannot be achieved in a day, so do at least one thing every day to get the ball rolling. No matter how small, that momentum creates more momentum.
When I lived in California two of the ladies I lived with were acupuncturists. Yes, I was spoiled with weekly acupuncture treatments and it was phenomenal. They really opened my eyes to the idea of “energy” in the holistic sense of the word as well as the concept of vibrational frequencies. We all put out energy and attract energy. Depending on how you feel, how you love, and how you hope, you can change the energy you receive. Low energy feelings like anger, fear, pessimism, neediness, shame – those hurt you…and we can opt to not harbor them. While I have no aspirations to stay here longer than I need to, I have to already be living with the type of energy, the type of vibration, that I want to be carrying for the rest of my life. I have written about how fear and worry is self-induced unwarranted misery. The opposite is faith, faith that you will make it all happen. Living in the past is low energy, anger, resentment. None of those states of mind are enjoyable. So here I am, reading yet another book where the underlying them is TO BE PRESENT. Ugghhhh, this is the hardest place to be present, but it is also the place I am. I need to have faith that if I can do it here it is going to translate to a pretty remarkable life, and a far easier time being present, once I am free. Back and forth though, between resentment for the past, fear of the future, and gratitude in the present – although I am getting much better at spending far less time on the outer ends of that spectrum. Moving the needle, in this instance, is catching myself when I move out of the present and having grace for recognizing this and faith I am continuing to get better.
Sure, we have bills to pay, retirement accounts to fund, food to shop for – there needs to be planning for the future. However, that is different from needlessly focusing on fear and stress about the future. We can also take time to study the past to understand our faults – but that does not need to include negative emotions. Some parts, some really tough parts of our past, maybe it’s easier and more freeing to just forgive and bury them. In dealing with those events many times we cannot logically work through them in our mind, they are not a math problem that can be solved. At the end of the day, love and connection beats out everything else, EVERYTHING. Don’t let all the other messy stuff get in the way. Because holding on to bad feelings does nothing more than harm you. Choose to be happy about life, choose joy, let things go. I would much rather feel lightness and freedom than the way I feel when I harbor negativity or anger. Always lean towards lightness and feeling free – even when reality doesn’t make that feel logical. Keep that vibrational frequency high.
Amidst all the philosophy I have been reading a word I have not seen come up, that came into my prevue this past week, is faith. In the sense of the word I am referring to, it is faith that the future is going to work out beautifully. Faith destroys fear and if you really want to manifest part of your life combine faith and gratitude and move the needle everyday. I’m grateful for the life I will have once I get back to Boise even though I don’t know exactly what it will look like. That is hard – it is a big jump into the unknown, but how would I get back home and not let life be amazing? I couldn’t, so I am working to find peace with that unknown, have gratitude for the people and resources I have, and have faith it is going to be better than I once feared.
That’s what I took away from this book. That is what I am using to carry me forward.